Estimated 5-minute read
As the good book says, desperation is the mother of all creativity because, when people are in a dire situation, they are more motivated than ever to figure out a solution and are more willing to take risks that nobody has done before. After all, desperation can lead you to a sense of urgency that helps to focus efforts and resources on finding a solution. And when resources are limited, people are forced to be more creative in finding ways to solve problems. That’s why some very enterprising stoners, at some point of the mythical past, banded together to create what is, perhaps, a total lifesaver for any cannabis enjoyer right now: how to make an apple bong.
Because believe us when we say that there’s no worse pit of despair than having a bunch of fresh, perfectly grinded weed and no way to light it up. Heck, you probably got a shiver down your spine just by imagining yourself in such a situation, and this is truly an emergency that we never want to befall any stoner whatsoever. Of course, it’s a good idea to never leave the house without your trusty KØL 2.0 pipe safely tucked in your pocket (especially if you have the mini version for exactly these reasons!), but we know that even the most prepared of potheads can be blindsided by circumstance, and sometimes, you end up with a bunch of cannabis that you cannot smoke. No pipe, no rolling paper, no bongs, nothing. What are you supposed to do in such a situation?
Fear nothing, dear stoner, because today we bring some information you might want to keep handy in case you face such a challenge one of these days. Tomorrow is never bought, so with this easy guide, you will not only know how to make an apple bong in the Lord’s Year of 2023, but how to become a pro at it. Save the day with this guide next time you and your friends are caught in a tight spot!
Step 1: Gather your materials
For this emergency, we are going to assume you are away from home (otherwise, you will have your KØL 2.0 or your HAMP rolling paper close at hand), so we will try to keep this as simple as possible. Also, we will assume you are not exactly a newbie to the whole cannabis hobby, know how bongs work, the bong parts names, and that you are very into creative pipes and bongs. So, with that in mind, what you are going to need is an apple (of course), and a thin tube, preferably made of plastic. The shell of a pen or a straw will do fine, for example. Probably the pen will be the better option because you will also need something sharp to bore the necessary holes in the apple.
And talking about that, also make sure that the apple you choose has the right consistency to endure the bonging. If you don’t know your apples, this quick guide might come in handy. Red Delicious will work the best, though, but make sure it is not too ripe, or you will end with lightly weed-flavored mashed apples. Now that you have your component materials, let’s begin crafting your improvised bong, just like in Minecraft!
Step 2: Take the stem off
Okay, now that you have your tools, you need to take the stem of the apple off. You can easily do this by using your pen to cut the flesh around the stem before pulling it off, making sure nothing gets left behind. Otherwise, you will need to get digging with your fingers, and by that point this entire enterprise might be already a failure. So take the stem with care, start boring the first of the three holes you will need to turn this humble apple into a cannabis inhalation device. Punch the hole at a sharp angle from the point where you removed the stem, being careful to only go halfway through the entire apple. Using a twisting motion to make this task more easy, because you want to use the harder apple available, so drill until you reach the core.
Okay, now the second hole. Underneath the apple, start puncturing a second tunnel about an inch from the bottom hole of the fruit, again at a slight angle, until you meet the first hole you made. You should have a sort of Y-shaped hole inside the apple at this point, so keep that in mind to make sure you are properly crafting your bong.
Then, the third hole. Again with your pen, start drilling from the side of the apple, about an inch from its top, gently, until it meets again with the little chambers you have already made. This specific hole it’s going to function as the “carb”, so you need to put it somewhere on the apple that makes it easy for you to cover it up with your finger once you light it. Once you finish this, you need to make a “bowl” on the top of the apple, cutting the flesh layer by layer. If you are only working with a pen it might be a little tricky, so if you have access to any kind of knife, take advantage of it.
However, with your pen it should be enough, if a little tiresome, but we are trying to keep this simple. And the good news is that, once you finish, your newly minted apple bong is ready! So now, time to light that hash that has been eyeing you during this whole process. It will be sweeter than you can ever imagine.
Step 3: Chase that high, son!
Okay, actually using your apple bong might be very straightforward, but we will explain the technique regardless, just in case. Put your freshly grinded weed inside the main chamber of the apple bong, and cover the hole in the side with your thumb. You are going to inhale from the bottom hole, so keep the apple steady while you light up the cannabis from above, inhaling deeply as you do so. It make take you a few tries if you are not very familiar with bong smoking (never mind that the holes might need a little more work if this is your first time improvising a smoking device like this), but soon enough you will have a perfectly serviceable bong to enjoy your hash as you should. Hope this will help you one day, and keep an eye on this blog of yours for more handy hacks in the future!